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Worse, you can get a potential high from every person you meet.But unlike other addictions, this one isn't officially recognized.Aside from a few desultory wall treatments, there isn’t much of a female presence in the apartment: Ikea couch and armchair, long desk by the window, computer screens.It may be that Ashley doesn’t go in for decorating.In high school, Jacob was all-state three times in cross-country; he still runs six to eight miles every day and competes at least once a month in local events.He has broken this routine only when he’s been lost in the stupor of his addiction.They have been together for nearly half their lives.
Hollywood is just the latest market to capitalize on this phenomenon, even if filmmakers’ depictions tend to do more harm than good.But they haven’t had sex since June 2012, haven’t even seen each other naked (except by accident) since he told her he was a sex addict.Almost every night, they separately attend meetings or therapy.Most addictions require you to extend yourself in some way—go to a particular place, spend a certain amount of money. The fuel for your disease is all around you, invading your senses. But when I ask him if he’s tired, he says no, just the opposite: "I sleep In a wedding photograph on the wall, Jacob holds hands with his wife, Ashley, on a country lane.The poet and professor Michael Ryan captures this experience in his unsettling, mesmerizing autobiography, JACOB* IS A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER, and on the morning he greets me at the door of his and his wife’s Seattle-area apartment, he looks as though he’s been up all night wrestling with code. He smiles hesitantly, his eyes skittering off to one side.
When I was in third grade, my teenage cousin sexually propositioned me.